My Life Without Me †Individuality in conflict with societal roles Essay

Sacrificing atomic number 53s take options and choices in life, making decisions based on the graphic symbol of being a soundly pargonnt and aiming to advance prospective generations by renouncing own opportunities are conceptionls that get sustained in many cultures. But why is on that point a stronger emphasis on fulfilling social roles and sacrificing own interests to fulfil such norms, if individuation is such a high value in modern, oddly occidental, community? There are dire consequences for society when people sacrifice their own self-fulfilment in lay to fulfil obligations that countenance been block upon them.In the source few moments of My Life Without Me (Coixet 2003) Ann explains the problem with the life that she has lived up to that point. As the human activity suggests, she has lived it without her self she explains who she is, as if authenticising for the start time that she actually exists and is a real person, a character. Ann is merely 23 years old and has lived her life up to the expectations that have been forced upon her she gets pregnant with 17 and from then on she is entirely a mother and a wife and the main breadwinner of her family.In western modern society the concept of individualisation as the social onward motion of individual ideals, autonomy, bountifuldom and the inquisition of happiness is repeatedly referred to as matchless of the most important rights an individual has. In addition, an increase in the authenticity and postulation of individual self-realisation and the cultivation of individual originality has taken draw a bead on (Willems 2012 147).With Ann we are shown an example of the problem that occurs, when there is a plain fight of interest between the roles that have been sprung upon an individual, such as the role of a mother, even at merely 17, and the outgrowth of an individual individuation, self-realisation and engage ones own personal interests. Even in the list of the ten things A nn wishes to do before she dies, her priorities are clear the first half of the list are all things immediately associated with her role in her family.The things she wants to do for herself come last. In one scene, when she is asked in a bar what her favourite music is, she starts by saying she hasnt listened to music in a long time, and that she utilise to same(p) Nirvana. Immediately she drifts off to talking about how she met her husband there. She isnt able to say what her favourite music is now, because she has ceased to do anything for herself. Ann, as an individual, faces society, magic spell the society is made entirely out of individuals that have norms and expectations.If one considers these ii components separately and ignores the context and reciprocal relationship, one creates an unbridgeable gap, which sack prevail to problems in the analysis of Anns character and the conflict she finds herself in. If one takes into reflexion Anns circumstances, it becomes clear that Ann lives in Canada and finds herself in a religious society, that does non accept abortion for example as a given prefer and choice. When she realises she is pregnant at 17, it is provable that she must get married, assume her role as a mother and must prioritise this role oer all else.As Marcuse describes, two manifestations of the individual have developed in recent history, and although they are related to each other reciprocally, this dichotomy leads to a conflict in society. First, there is a tendency towards the development of a free individual and intellectual subject, and on the other hand there is the development of a free economic subject in free competition. A separation occurs between the struggle of the individual for his autonomy and the development of his self, and, at the same time, in a fight for its existence.Ann is forced to piece of work and provide for her family, while her autonomy is strongly compromised. She takes care of the children, fully presump tuous and prioritising that role, sooner than pursuing or even having dreams of her own. This shows that there is not unaccompanied pressure from society to survive and provide financially for herself and her family, but in similar manner a moral obligation to prioritise her role as a wife and mother. Ann does not become aware of the compromises she has made towards her own identity and individuality, until she knows she is passing play to die soon.Through the role she has assumed, her self-fulfilment and expression presenting her individuality have been compromised. This is the price she has to pay for fulfilling her material and moral obligation. Questionably, compromises like these have consequences for societal structures as well as for the individuals one finds therein. The film depicts a discriminating answer to the question of what the consequences from such compromises and conflicts are. An important factor is that Ann nal offices tells anyone she is going to die.She so lves the conflict of interest in her life by living her up to her new-found individuality separate from her traditional family life. The integration of these two lives would be ever so filled with conflicts, that she decides to start living a double-life or else one in which she lives up to the expectations and her role as a loving wife and mother and another in which she pursues all the things she feels she has missed out on, like smoking, drinking and sleeping with another man.These two currents are not reconcilable. some other consequence is that Ann has very concrete plans for how the life of the others should go on, once she is gone. She acts manipulatively, by trying to introduce her husband to a woman she thinks should take her emplacement, or by recording birthday messages for her children and advising them on how to act. Though one sym leadises with Ann as a loving mother and wife that wants the best for her family even by and by she is gone, it seems paternal. charm i t seems selfless and kind of her to want her husband to have a nice children-loving companion when she is gone, the way she chooses someone over his head and manipulates the occurrence without his knowledge or his say to the matter, seems downright scheming and even patronising. While it is beautiful and touching of her to record all the messages for her childrens birthdays for them, it seems like she does not lonesome(prenominal) have loving and encouraging words to stay, but is more than rather trying to lure them on how to act and to behave in the future.It seems like the price she has paid in fulfilling her role, rather than indulging her own self, has had this movement on her. This very much reminds me of the sacrifices that many parents make for the next generations to come, especially of four-year-old immigrants, that wish for a better life for their children. Parents, as the first reference of what is right and wrong and important, influence their children strongly, es pecially in mention to education and how to determine their life.A mediation of the parents culture on to the children takes place and while the participatory influence parents have is hard to measure and define, it is obvious that a lot of elements in the behaviour of second-generation immigrants can be accounted to their parents (Farsi 2013 nose candy ff. ). These parents sacrifice their home country and the fulfilment of their own dreams and individuality, in order to fulfil the obligation that has been thrust upon them to provide the best chances and education they can for their children. While these intentions, like the intentions of Ann, are noble and entrenched with morality, the outcome is lots paternalism.If one sacrifices self-realisation, self-fulfilment and the expression of ones own individuality for the role of being a great parent, the outcome is often a paternalistic attitude towards the pursuit of the rest of the family, especially the children. Furthermore when Ann knows she give die and leave her family, she knows she will lose her influence on them, which is why she decides to influence them as much as she can before, and ensure that her daughters and her husband live their life the way she thinks they should.The influence of parents that are immigrants lessens when the are in a different breeze and culture. The values they have been brought up with often get lost in western society, especially when they come from a middle eastern background. frequently like Anns death, that will eliminate her influence on her family, it seems the influence of cultural values also dies once the environment is changed by the remotion and replacement through modern western societal values. The stand-up comic Amir K. explains this matter in his sketch on his father (K. 2011).The flat coat the audience appreciates and laughs about his performance, lies in the woeful cliche of the portrayal of his father. He depicts the disappointment of a typical middle eastern father who shouts at his son for pursuing a career in a path he does not deem appropriate, in his human face stand-up comedy. He quotes his father in saying You waste of education, waste of my money or Youre a fucking clown? I brought you to this country to be a clown? You can be a lawyer, you can be a doctor, you can open up a bank but instead you choose a career in comedy.The reason especially young immigrants of the second generation can laugh at this is because it is so park for parents to have paternalistic expectations towards the career paths and norms and values that their children should live by. Similar to the case of Ann, it seems that the sacrifice of their own individuality for their role as a equitable parent, and the loss of their influence on the other hand, could lead to such a paternalistic attitude and the attempt to manipulate and coerce their values and their idea of how the children should live their lives.While I do not wish to chastise Anns love and care for her children, just like the sacrifices immigrant parents make for future generations, one must take into consideration that when dynamics of society thrust roles onto individuals that imply sacrifice of ones own self for the well-being of another and heavy(a) up the pursuit of ones own expression of individuality, problematic, paternalistic relationships can occur. What begins as a well-intended sacrifice out of love, could end in a relationship in which choosing ones own path is something that none of the parties heterogeneous can pursue without a feeling of guilt.Bibliography Farsi, Armand (2013) Migranten auf dem Weg zur Elite? Zum Berufserfolg von Akademikern mit Migrationshintergrund. Online-Ausg. Berlin u. a. Springer, 2013. DOI 10. 1007/978-3-658-01564-0 Marcuse, Herbert (1970) Ideen zu einer kritischen Theorie der Gesellschaft. Suhrkamp Verlag, capital of Kentucky am Main Willems, Herbert (2012) Synthetische Soziologie Idee, Entwurf und Programm. VS Verlag fur Sozialwissenschaften, Wiesbaden Internetquellen K. , Amir (2011) Middle Eastern Dad. http//www. youtube. com/ visit? v=JCxMWWf4_Ww Seen 24. 11. 13 2011.